Stopping in to post personal non-sense because stress gives me the need to vent in text as well as in person.
1) This shit in Boston is insane, but I was very happy to see the helpers. For the few shitstains it took to create such havoc, there were countless people stepping in to help those in need. Humanity rocks.
2) My medicine prevents me from getting jobs, so I am off it for the forseeable future. Currently at week 2, and my depression has increased to normal levels. America needs to get it’s shit in order so those who have need can have reasonable access to their medicines, at least.
3) I’m slowly realizing that my parents have been the number 1 barrier to my life. It’s awful, but I’m grateful that at least I’m not fighting society. If I ever end up with children, I hope I can be better.
4) There are so many friends I wish I had more time for. (see number 7) I’ve had to make time in my schedule just to simply reply to an email. One. One email. On the positive side, there are people closeby to spend time with, I just hate having to budget my time this way.
5) I’ve had writer’s block all semester. Everytime something I’ve had to write gets read in class, I just pretend I’m not embarrassed by the shitty ideas I had to use, due to lack of good ones.
6) All that said, finally moving back out was the best decision I ever made. I may be going into debt over it, but I can’t put a price on getting away from all the negativity my parents unintentionally forced into my life. I’m realizing that while family is important, being out of situations that are slowly killing you (I didn’t realize it at the time, but I now think it was) is more important. Somehow, in only seeing my family a few times a year, my relationship with them is better than it ever has been.
7) I’m ambivalent about being an introvert. I say that I’m too busy to keep up with people, but the truth is that due to introversion I need a certain minimum of alone time. If I were an extrovert, I’d have time for everyone. Part of me wishes I were an extrovert, but then I wouldn’t be the same person… so no thanks. It’s just difficult to try to explain to people that what little free time I have is spent alone, and that doing so is a requirement to even have the energy to have a conversation with them.
8) I don’t know. I am certain there is more I should be going on about, but it’s time I got back to work. So I can get to that email.